


compassion

by obscure_black_clouds



Series: protection [2]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Mild Language, Physical Abuse, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-19 12:59:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9441332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obscure_black_clouds/pseuds/obscure_black_clouds
Summary: Events in the metro station became a fearful memory, but darkness doesn’t give up so fast. The damage was inevitable, but what is its scale? Credence and his patron now have to discover more mysteries. How strong their bond really is? What was that white smoke? What’s that Grindelwald really wanted? The war is coming, but the question is if they are ready to meet each other on the battlefield.





	1. Chapter 1

The pain would not go away. Not entirely, not really.

It was hard to breath, darkness was devouring everything around and, to be honest, he was ready to succumb to it. Because why not? It was so easy, just give up and disappear. Maybe, just maybe I would give him freedom. Death is the only thing that sets us free, after all.

_“Lumos”._

That one word burst into the veil of darkness firing a single spark, which instantly died out giving up to the darkness. His darkness. He was blind, and he doubted if there was something aside the impenetrable night.

_“Is anybody there?”_

_I am. I am here._ He wanted to shout, he wanted to whisper, he wanted to breathe. However, his lungs seemed to be full of lead, he couldn’t even inhale properly. He gasped for air, desperately, uselessly. Panic, fear and pain overflowed him like water, and he was sinking faster and faster, swallowing too much liquid. _I am here._ But- But who was he? He couldn’t even remember who he was, and it scared him even more, making him flounder in a dark thick liquid. _Help me. Help me. Help me._

And suddenly, somebody did.

Someone’s fingers griped his shoulders so hard that he almost hissed in pain, backing away, afraid of further punishment. However, it didn’t follow. That somebody he couldn’t see, suddenly was so close, closer than anyone else ever was. He could feel a subtle warmth creeping to his chest, when somebody else’s body was pressed against his. It was the first time his gasp for air was successful. He grasped onto that warmth as to a saving straw, which would probably save him from the darkness.

And it did. Oh heaven, it did.

Darkness surrendered, faded away like a smoke. He blinked, vision coming back to him, memories recovering. Credence. His name was Credence. He was grasping onto someone, someone familiar and dear, but he couldn’t remember who it was. He remembered the smell of the hair, he buried his face into, he remembered the touch of the fingers and the sound of breathing. Credence just needed a second, to remember the name. Just one second.

 _“(Y/N)?”_ another voice interrupted into their cocoon of unspeakable warmth and safety, letting a cold wind inside, making them both flinch.

(Y/N). (Y/N). (Y/N). Of course, how could he forget? Slippery tentacles of guilt slither into his soul, making him frown. When woman moved away, Credence whimpered, his hands still on her waist, not ever letting go. She was alive, she was safe, and she was with him. For this very moment, she was his. And nothing could change that, at least in his mind. He sighed in relief, when (Y/N) moved back, her hand sliding to his back again in the protective hug. Maybe, if he was less scared or more confident, he would feel victorious, that she ignored somebody for his sake, at least this once. (Y/N) turned her face to look into Credence’s eyes, wiping his tears and smiling softly. Only she could smile like that.

 _“You are alive”,_ he thickly blurted, staring at her. (Y/N)’s eyes widened in surprise.

 _“Credence-”_ she shakily whispered, with her lover lip quivering as if she was holding back tears. Sweet Credence, caring about everyone but himself again. _“Oh Credence-”_

 _“I- I s-saw h-him-”,_ Credence cleared his throat, still staring in her eyes. _“He at-tacked you- And I- I-”_

 _“And you saved me-”_ she breathed out, tears silently streaming down her face. Credence was staring at her incredulously and then raised his shaking hand to wipe her tears away.

 _“Wh-Why are you c-crying (Y/N)?”_ he asked, touching her face first time ever. She sobbed, smiling through tears.

 _“Because for one terrible second I though I’ve lost you-”_ she hurriedly wiped her tears, sniffing.

 _“Ahem-”_ Newt suddenly interrupted causing (Y/N) to glance at him, annoyed. He pointedly moved his eyes to Credence ant the fact that they were still sitting in the corner.

 _“Oh-”_ she gasped, realizing. Her hand was still on Credence’s shoulder and she could feel him slightly shaking. Oh, how dumb she was! Credence was certainly freezing and she made him sit on the cold floor. _“Newt, can you please bring a blanket? It should be on the couch.”_

When Newt hurriedly left, Credence realized something. This revelation made his cheeks heat up. He was, well, naked. He was naked and he was sitting next to (Y/N) in the dark corner of the room, too close for that to be considered appropriate. Credence moved back, drawing his knees up to his chest. (Y/N) seemed to notice his movement and turned around, watching him with curiosity. Credence, however tried to look anywhere bur her face. For the first time in his life, it was hard for him not to look at someone’s face. A quiet “oh” signaled that she realized his sudden change of the mood, which made the boy blush even more.

 _“Credence, it’s okay-”_ she quietly said, lifting his chin up. He noticed a subtle blush on her cheeks and as she bit her lip, smiling lightly. Her eyes never left his face, not wanting to cause any more embarrassment. She turned around as soon as Newt came back and gave her the blanket. “Here we go,” (Y/N) wrapped the cloth around the boy and stood up. _“Come on, Credence, you can’t sit there it’s cold”_ she helped him to rise to his feet and almost caught him, when he swayed almost walling to the ground again.

They moved to the room, leaving a dark corridor behind. Credence was leaning at (Y/N) shoulder, blush still visible on his cheeks. As soon as she guided him to the couch, he suddenly stopped, causing (Y/N) to jerk her head. She followed his gaze and saw Modesty. They were looking at each other terrified of what might happen. Credence bit his lip, his eyes full of hope.

 _“Credence, dear, you need to sit down,”_ she quietly said, making him glance at her with surprise. His hear started to beat faster. She called him “dear”. She called him “dear”, as if she loved him. But that couldn’t be possible, so he just nodded, still watching her and obeying her every move. (Y/N) sat him down onto the couch and then looked at him intently. _“Credence, are you hurt?”_

He didn’t reply. Well, his whole body ached, but he doubted there was any serious injuries. At least there was no blood.

 _“Credence?”_ she asked, her hand on his shoulder.

 _“N-no. I-I don’t think so,”_ he said, looking at her with wide eyes. (Y/N) smiled, relieved, and then turned to Newt. She made a step forward, causing Credence to flinch and grab her hand, scared she would leave. She glance at him amazed, but squeezed his hand back.

 _“(Y/N), what are you going to do now?”_ Newt asked, coming closer to Modesty, who was still staring at Credence in fear.

 _“Well, one thing done on my list,”_ she joked. _“Credence is here. So we have two things figure out now.”_ (Y/N) glanced at the girl and moved forward, however, Credence wasn’t going to let her hand go. She looked at him and smiled _“Love, I’m not leaving you, I promise.”_

Credence blushed to her “love”, but let her go. He lowered his eyes, but still watched her coming closer to Modesty.

_“Modesty, I know you are scared,” she started, tucking a strand of hair behind girl’s ear. _“But Credence- You brother is not going to hurt you. Magic can be scary and bad, but it also can do good things. He was protecting you all this time. I know you are terrified. He will not hurt you. See, he doesn’t hurt me, right?”__

__“But you are a w-”_ Modesty timidly started _“A witch.”__

__“Yes. More or less, at least,”_ (Y/N) glanced to Newt._

__“You are strong,”_ the girl finished and (Y/N) chuckled, understanding._

__“That doesn’t change the fact, that you brother loves you and that he would never ever hurt you,”_ she smiled glancing to Credence. _“He will not hurt you. Or me. You know why?”__

__Because I love you,_ Credence thought, his eyes widening to his own thoughts. He bit his lip, felling his face heat up._

__“He would never hurt us, because he is good,”_ (Y/N) said, _“He is kind and strong, and brave. And strong people will never hurt someone weaker. You brother is very strong, Modesty, and he will not hurt you.”__

_Credence felt his breathing quicken as he listened to (Y/N) words. She stood up and came back to him, bringing Modesty along. The girl was still hesitant, but then timidly hugged him. (Y/N) smiled contently, looking at siblings. She glanced to Newt, who was smiling too. Credence’s movements were shackled but he returned the embrace, holding Modesty as if she was made of glass._

__“Newt, can I have you for a moment?”_ she inquired tugging his sleeve. Newt instantly nodded, moving after her, not to bother Credence and Modesty._

__“Yes, (Y/N)?”_ he curiously asked, focusing on her face._

__“Um- Newt, look I’m- I’m so sorry. For yelling at you like some hysteric,”_ she awkwardly said. _“And for punching you in the face, it was an accident. I’m very very sorry.”__

__“Hey, it’s all right. You were scared and tired. I understand,”_ he smiled, seeing the blush on her cheeks. Suddenly her eyes widen focused on his cheekbone. _“What?”__

__“I didn’t realize I hit you that hard,”_ (Y/N) quickly raised her hand touching red skin with her fingertips and closed her eyes, inaudibly whispering something. Her fingers were cold and the touch was cooling, almost soothing. In a second, she looked at him again, smiling. _“Here you go.”__

__“What-”_ _

__“Just made sure you won’t get a bruise. Oh, and Newt, I need your help. I’m terrible in transfiguration, so we need to figure something out with clothes for Credence. Just for the first time, I think we can transfigurate some of mine for him and Modesty. I think it’s not the best time to go shopping.”_ _

__“Yes, of course,”_ he smiled. _“Lead the way.”__

_(Y/N) walked to the stairs followed by Newt. She glanced at Credence and modesty, still sitting on the couch, making sure they were fine, and headed upstairs. Credence at the same time was staring at the floor. Modesty watched him with curiosity, not entirely understanding why he was upset. Credence was feeling a beet guilty, as if he spied on (Y/N) while she was talking to Newt. However, he couldn’t make himself look away, and his heart sank, when he saw her touching Scamander’s face. He had no right to feel jealous, but he did._

__“You like her, Creed-o?”_ Modesty noted, intently looking at her brother, who blushed furiously and wrapped himself it a blanket even more._

__“N-no!”_ he protested, cautiously looking if there was any chance for (Y/N) to hear them._

__“You do like her,”_ the girl commented surely, smiling widely. _“And you are jealous.”__

__“No I am not!”_ he huskily whispered. _“Be quiet!”_ Credence shushed._

__“Why don’t you tell her, Creed-o?”_ _

__“Because she is my friend and she likes Mr. Newt,”_ he unhappily muttered._

__“Nah, she doesn’t. She was yelling at him, when she came,”_ Modesty shrugged, but trailed off, because (Y/N) and Newt came back to the room._

_(Y/N) was caring a pile of clothes, while Newt was fumbling in his pockets._

__“- I’m sure you forgot it at Goldstein’s.”_ _

__“Ugh- Guess so,”_ Newt sighed, giving up his unsuccessful search. _“What do you plan to do now?”__

__“You were right, when you said we need to know, what is happening to me. Also, we need to figure out how to help Credence. We can’t stay in New York any longer.”_ _

__“Come with me,”_ Newt offered, watching (Y/N) intently._

__“I guess it would be the best way. Warn Queenie and Tina. We will come later. I will gather some things we might need, and then erase anything that can help MACUSA find us.”_ _

__“Okay then,”_ Newt nodded, hurriedly hugging (Y/N) and opening the door. _“Be careful.”__

__“Of course we will. Go!”_ she smiled, seeing him disappear. (Y/N) turned around to Credence and Modesty, giving them the clothes. _“I hope it fits,”_ she waved her hand, closing the curtains. _“Modesty, you can go upstairs to change,”_ (Y/N) smiled, watching at beaming girl running to the room with a new dress in her arms, as if it was her greatest treasure._

__“You- You are g-going to leave? With Mr. Newt?”_ Credence suddenly asked, staring at his hands._

__“We are going to leave, Credence,”_ she said touching his fingers. _“You, me and Modesty. We will go to London for some time. You didn’t think I was going to abandon you, did you?”__

__“S-sorry, I just-”_ he worriedly whispered._

__“Credence, look at me,”_ (Y/N) patiently waited for him to raise his eyes. _“I am never going to leave you. Not now, not ever. You are the only reason I ever was anywhere. It was always you. I am here to protect you,”_ she was speaking softly, avoiding telling him that she was his Patron, though it sounded the same. (Y/N) was too scared that he would think that she was obligated to look after him, that she couldn’t make herself confess. _“Sh-h-h, dear, sh-h-h,”_ she whispered, seeing tears in his eyes. Credence sniffed, trying to contain himself._

__“T-Thank y-you,”_ he sobbed, leaning into her touch._

__“You are welcome. Come, you need to get dressed,”_ he blushed again, but followed her upstairs._

__

***

(Y/N) couldn’t stop smiling, looking at Modesty, who was so happy with her new dress that she seemed to broke (Y/N)’s ribs, hugging her too hard. Modesty was much more adjustable, she got over the shock incredibly quickly, happily helping with packing. She wasn’t even that scared of magic anymore. It amazed and hurt (Y/N) at the same time. She saw, that the girl had a hope for a happy life, but at the same time, she wondered how abused Credence might have been, that he lost his hope.

She was going to bring that hope back.

(Y/N) wondered, how that happened, that it took her just couple of months to become so attached to him. Credence made himself essential to her, not even realizing that. She sighed, waving her hand again to clear the mess they’d created. Credence was standing in the doorstep of her bedroom, watching her movements carefully, tugging the sleeve of his sweater. He wondered where she got it, a dark gray sweater with couple of green and silver stripes, which was obviously too big for her.

 _“Okay, Modesty, I think we’re done,”_ (Y/N) stated, looking to the small suitcase. _“Everything else we will get in London, I think. Now we’ll wait for your br-”_ she stopped, noticing Credence who was still shyly standing in behind her back. _“Oh, there he is.”_

(Y/N) took a black coat and a long green scarf from the sofa handing them to Credence. When he timidly accepted, she helped Modesty to pat her clothes on. (Y/N) turned around to face hesitating Credence, who looked at the coat as if he wasn’t sure what to do.

 _“Credence, are you all right?”_ she carefully asked, touching his hand and causing him to look up.

 _“You started asking questions,”_ he quietly stated, watching her eyes widen.

_“Oh, I- I thought it was okay. I’m sor-”_

_“It’s okay,”_ he instantly said, trying to calm her down. _“I just noticed.”_

 _“Um- Are you- Are you sure?”_ (Y/N) asked again, still holding his hand.

 _“Yes,”_ he nodded and started to put his coat on.

To be honest, in some way, he was happy, that she started asking. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to answer, but there was so much clemency and compassion in her every question, as if she was checking constantly if he was there, if he didn’t fade away. He felt… wanted. And loved in some way, even if not in the way he wanted to. (Y/N) gave him certainty. He was scared that she would leave as everyone else does, but at the same time, he wanted to believe that she wouldn’t. And he did. She made him certain she would never leave him. (Y/N) was kind, gentle and peaceful. She was brave for him, and her every word and touch was filled with so much compassion. And maybe, just maybe, compassion was that he needed now.

(Y/N) carefully adjusted his scarf making sure that this coat was buttoned all the way to the collar.

 _“Wh-Where did you get those?”_ Credence timidly asked, gesturing to the coat and the scarf.

 _“It was my old clothes from the school days, the scarf is in my House colors. Newt changed it a little, so it would fit both of you. We will get some proper clothes as soon as we get out of New York,”_ she took the case and extended her hand towards Modesty, who instantly grabbed it. Credence hesitated for a second, and then took suitcase from her. _“It’s not heavy at all, Credence, I can-”_ she started, but trailed off, when he took her hand instead. Credence could’ve sworn that he saw Modesty smiling victoriously.

 _“Okay,”_ she smiled. _“Let’s go then.”_

They went downstairs, all together, the only time Credence let go of (Y/N)’s hand was when she was locking up the door to the bookstore. However, he grabbed her fingers as soon as she was done with the door. They were ready to leave, (Y/N) cautiously looking around, for MACUSA’s employees, but they were nowhere to be found.

 _“Oi, (Y/N)!”_ unknown woman’s voice interrupted, making all of them nearly jump in surprise.

 _“Margaret,”_ (Y/N) growled, turning around with a wide fake smile on her face, to meet the gaze of a middle-aged woman, who was curiously examining their company.

_“I haven’t seen ya for a while!”_

_“Had things to do, you know. Actually, we are in a hur-”_

_“(Y/N), you never told me, you had such a handsome boyfriend,”_ Margaret jokingly taped her shoulder, while both Credence and (Y/N) synchronously blushed. _“Oh, and what a nice girl over there!”_ she exclaimed looking at Modesty, who successfully hid behind Credence.

 _“Margaret, it’s John and his little sister Anna,”_ (Y/N) bluntly lied, trying to hide her embarrassment. _“And now, if you excuse us, we’re in a hurry!”_

(Y/N) almost dragged Credence and Modesty away, leaving Margaret behind. She slowed down only when they turned around the corner. Her face was red, from both embarrassment and anger, and she breathed heavily before speaking.

 _“I sorry, she’s just- too curious. She was trying to set me up with her nephew for ages, it was getting ridiculous.”_ Credence felt a slight pinch of jealously.

_“But-You didn’t object-”_

_“Trust me, dear, it was much easier to tell her that you are my boyfriend John, than convincing her otherwise.”_

_“Oh-”_ he nodded, his cheeks still pink.

Of course, it was easier. He never thought about opportunity or possibility of (Y/N) loving him back. It seemed impossible and too good to be the truth. However, hearing that from other felt somehow pleasant. (Y/N) squeezed his hand slightly as they continued going down the street, in comforting silence. Modesty was looking between both of the, thinking about something that was known only to herself.

 _“So, here we are,”_ she quietly said, stopping in front of high-rise building. _“Come on, they are waiting.”_


	2. Chapter 2

Credence never seen so many smiles in one place before. He was holding onto (Y/N)’s hand tightly, trying not to hurt her, though, and was nervous when they were coming inside the house. (Y/N) could feel him flinching ever so slightly because of any loud sound on the street, but he managed to control himself. Honestly, she was surprised how good he was in hiding his true emotions behind his somber expression, only subtle movements and his eyes giving it away. Now they stepped inside Goldsteins’ apartment, which was filled with warm light. Queenie, who opened the door earlier, instantly pulled (Y/N) into the tight hug.

_“(Y/N), thank heaven, you’re all right!”_

_“Of course I am,”_ she surprisingly chuckled.

_“You disappeared so quickly, we were worried!”_

_“I’m sorry, I just needed to come back,”_ (Y/N) softly added, pulling away. She felt Credence’s fingers squeezing her hand nervously. He instinctively stood behind her back, both from desire of protection and just being closer. _“Oh- Queenie, I’m not sure if you know, but- It’s Credence and this is Modesty, his sister.”_

 _“Credence? Your-”_ she stumbled for a beat, looking into (Y/N) eyes _“-friend, right?”_

 _“Yes, exactly,”_ (Y/N) gratefully nodded. _“Credence, Modesty, it’s Queenie.”_

 _“N-Nice to meet you, Miss Queenie,”_ Credence awkwardly whispered, lowering his eyes.

 _“Oh, just Queenie, darling”_ she said sweetly, taking a step forward. However, that was a mistake. Nothing happened, but Credence instinctively moved to (Y/N) frantically looking at her. She eloquently glanced at Queenie, shaking her head slightly.

 _“Um- Okay, where’s Tina and Newt?”_ (Y/N) asked, trying to brake an awkward silence. She could feel Credence literally hiding behind her, his heart racing. He was okay with (Y/N) coming close, touching him, but others… Well, he wasn’t ready, even if Queenie seemed genuinely charming and friendly. He wasn’t ready, not yet.

 _“Newt went to, I quote, “make dreams come true”_ and Tina followed to make sure he won’t get into any trouble.”

“Merlin, I hope we won’t have to catch more beasts around the city,” (Y/N) sighed and took of her coat.

 _“She tied his case up, so nobody escaped,”_ Queenie chucked, moving to the kitchen, while (Y/N) was helping Modesty to unbutton her coat.

 _“She did what?”_ (Y/N) jerked her head, looking at her friend amazed.

 _“Yup, she tied it up, with a rope, literally,”_ Queenie nonchalantly said, starting to prepare tea. _“(Y/N), can you help me here?”_

“In a minute,” she answered, eyeing Credence who was still a little bewildered. She gestured to the couch, and he obeyed, sitting down. (Y/N) joined him, and gently touched his hands, trying to calm him down. His back was straight, though shoulders driven forward as usual. Meanwhile, Modesty was watching Queenie in awe, talking about something quietly.

 _“Credence, look at me,”_ she came back to her calm, certain tone, just like when they first met, but much softer this time. He raised his head ever so slightly, embarrassed for being so scared and weak. _“Credence, I know it’s hard for you, I can only imagine that, but there’s nothing to be afraid of. No one is going to hurt you, I promise,”_ she touched his arm, stroking his shoulder. _“Do you trust me, Credence?”_

He glanced at her with wide eyes. Of course, he did, how could he not? Why was she asking? Had he done something wrong? Credence rapidly nodded, grasping onto her fingers. The only thing that made him calm down was (Y/N)’s smile that curved her lips.

 _“I will never going to let anyone hurt you, Credence,”_ she touched his cheek, still smiling. _“I swear,”_ he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes slightly as if he was a cat, starving for human’s warmth. She stood up and bowed, kissing the crown of his head and ruffling his hair. He jerked his head up, staring at her with surprise, but (Y/N) already moved away, making her way to the kitchen. _“You must be starving,”_ she explained, _“I’ll help Queenie and come back in a minute.”_

Credence watched her leave, wondering again, why she was so kind. At first she found him in a side alley, protected him from his mother, patched him up almost every time he had been beaten up, brought him food on the streets, and then literally shielded him from all those wizards who were trying to kill him. Why? He never done anything to deserve that and she was just… kind. (Y/N) seemed feckly ferocious when trying to protect him. Credence knew why he was trying to be closer, why he covered her from Graves and attacked when that man hit her with a spell. But why she was doing what she was doing? His thoughts were interrupted by Modesty, who landed herself onto the couch next to him, smiling widely. She started to tell him something, but he didn’t listen.

(Y/N) meanwhile was making tea, trying to withstand Queenie’s eloquent stare.

 _“What?”_ she finally gave up, facing Goldstein.

_“Why don’t you tell him?”_

_“What exactly?”_

_“Why don’t you tell him who you are?”_ she persistently asked, stopping from making pastries.

 _“You know why,”_ (Y/N) growled.

 _“He is wondering why you are so kind to him, why you care. Maybe you should answer those questions,”_ she shrugged, continuing on cooking. _“He deserves to know. He has gone through so much-”_

__“I know,”_ (Y/N) sighed, closing her eyes. _“But how that can be a good answer Queenie? He might think that I do it just because I must.”__

__“And you-”_ _

__“I care for him, just because it’s Credence. Because he is kind, and strong, and brave. In the beginning, maybe I felt obligated but now- Now, I do it because I want to. Because he needs someone to care, and not because of some stupid magical bond. I would die for him, Queenie. I’m not afraid of death, I’m scared of failing him. You already know that, you can read my mind.”_ _

__“I know,”_ she smiled, holding a plate with strudel in her hands. _“I just wanted you to say it out loud.”__

__“Why would you want me to-”_ (Y/N) turned around to see Credence awkwardly standing in the doorway. Her eyes widen and she threw and angry glance at Queenie._

__“Well, I think you need to talk,”_ she beamed, placing a half of a strudel to the table in front of (Y/N) and taking two cups of tea with her. _“Trust me, lies and secrets will bring no good,”_ she left, making her way to Modesty, who seemed to like Goldstein._

_(Y/N) couldn’t make herself to look at Credence, so she just moved to take a knife. Her hands were trembling, while she was slicing the cake and placing two mugs of tea onto the table._

__“I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean to overhear,”_ he awkwardly said, tugging his sleeve._

__“It’s okay, Credence,”_ she sighed. _“Queenie is right, there’s no use in secrets. I should have told you everything a long time ago.”__

_Credence watched her wearily sat on a chair, hiding her face in her hands for a moment. He heard only last sentence of two, but there was something more than that, he could feel it._

__“Credence, sit. You need to eat something,”_ she softly stated, gesturing to the food. _“Careful, it’s hot,”_ she added, just like the first time they met, when he timidly took a cup._

__“What- What you wanted to tell me?”_ Credence carefully asked, after a few minutes of silence. (Y/N) looked at him for a second more before inhaling deeply and starting to speak._

__“Before-”_ she thickly swallowed _“Before I start, I want you to know, that I care for you and will do anything to keep you safe.”_ (Y/N) waited for him to nod and then continued, _“I am not a regular witch, Credence. Just as you are not an ordinary wizard. You are an Obscurial. Sometimes, when people are forced to suppress their own magic, the Obscurus appears, a dark power that seeks a way out. Because of what happened to you, because of what that woman did- You became one of them. Usually, such children don’t live past the age of ten. You, however, are extraordinary. Maybe that’s why, because of your immense powers, you’ve got a Patron. It’s a witch or a wizard who is meant to protect a powerful magical artifact or, in this case, a person. I am your Patron, Credence. My duty is to keep you safe,”_ she stopped for a second, her voice tremulous. _“Our meeting was not an accident. I was looking after you for quite some time, always from the distance, not daring to come close. Sometimes I think it was my first mistake. I should have come and taken you away. I just- I wanted to give you a choice, something no one ever gave you before.”__

__“When you- When you discovered that you were my- my Patron?”_ he timidly asked moving closer. Credence remembered her on the rallies, always across the street watching from the distance. Or sometimes she was just passing by. Everything started to fell into place._

__“When I was seventeen. I’m not quite sure why then, but my magic- It’s gone out of control. I couldn’t use wand anymore. The n- dreams came, I kept seeing a church, a woman and a boy, you, all the time. I was slowly fading. As soon as my education ended, I escaped. It was easy to fake a muggle passport, take some money and sail to New York.”_ _

__“How did you-”_ _

__“I don’t know. I think it’s how the bond works, I just feel where you are,”_ she shrugged._

__“You didn’t tell me that you were a witch,”_ Credence whispered._

__“I was afraid to scare you away. I didn’t know what you thought about magic, and I couldn’t afford losing you.”_ (Y/N) was tugging her sleeve, trying not to look at Credence who sat next to her. Suddenly, he touched her hand, causing her to jerk her head up. He frowned and carefully moved her sleeve away, examining her wrist._

__“What is that?”_ he asked, touching scars on her hands. (Y/N) bit her lip, not sure about answering. _“(Y/N)-”__

__“Sometimes- Sometimes I would wake up with wounds and scratches. Most of them would fade away, but some- some needed to heal by themselves.”_ _

_Credence watched her in shock and then rapidly rolled his sleeve up, revealing identical scars on his own hand, with only difference in quantity. He moved away quickly, feeling guilty. She was suffering because of him, got scars and nightmares. She was dying._

__“Credence-”_ (Y/N) noticed his movement and leaned forward. _“Credence, it’s not your fault-”__

__“No- It is. Y-You got hurt because of me-”_ _

__“No, Credence, listen to me,”_ she cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her. _“This is not your fault. It is mine. I should have come earlier.”_ Credence shook his head. He wanted to move away, but couldn’t make himself do so. He bit his lip and closed his eyes._

_It was hard. He asked himself way she was there for him, but getting an answer didn’t make him happy. She had to be there. It was her duty and that’s all._

__“Credence, please-”_ he opened his eyes, hearing a subtle whisper. (Y/N) moved closer, staring at him with tears in her eyes._

_Suddenly, his heart raced. A spark of hope lit up in his soul. She said it was her duty to protect him. But was her kindness and compassion a part of protection? Maybe she stood up against Mary Lou because of duty, but he couldn’t imagine that her constant presence was a part of it. Credence couldn’t believe, that her tears were fake. She was bringing him coffee and food, making sure he wouldn’t freeze in the streets, she was patching him up. She saved Modesty._

__“(Y/N)-”_ _

__“I know what are you thinking, Credence. You think that everything that I’ve done was because I had to. But it’s not like that,”_ her voice was stiff now, tears still in her eyes as she moved away, standing to her feet. _“In the very beginning yes, I hated that. I thought that whoever my ward was, he destroyed my life. But then I saw you. You, who needed help and protection, who was king enough to hold his demons back for all this time. You changed me. Made me a better person,”_ she was speaking confidently and earnestly. _“You protected me, though it was my job to protect you. You made yourself essential to me, Credence Barebone. You are wrong, Credence. I care for you because you are dear to me. And that is the only reason,”_ she exclaimed staring at him and breathing heavily. (Y/N) could almost feel Queenie’s gaze on her, though she was sitting on the sofa with Modesty. Credence sat for a few more seconds but then stood up._

__“(Y/N)- M-May I hug you?”_ he timidly asked, his heart fluttering. Credence never believed someone so unconditionally._

__“Oh Merlin, of course”,_ she exhaled, staring at him in shock. His movements were constrained and he carefully pulled her closer, as if giving her a chance to go away. Credence hid his face in a crook of her neck, breathing slowly and deeply._

__“Thank you,”_ he whispered._

__“For what?”_ she wanted to move away to look at his face, but first time ever, he didn’t let her. He pulled her closer, realizing how small in comparison to him she was._

__“For everything. For protection and-”_ _

__“Stop,”_ she whispered into his chest. _“No need to say this.”__

__“But I-”_ _

_Credence didn’t finish, interrupted by opening door. The both moved away, though his hand remained on her waist. He was almost disappointed that someone came, it was too peaceful to hold her in his arms._

__“Oh, hello, Modesty”_ Newt happily exclaimed, seeing the girl. Tina was right after him, smiling to her sister._

__“Is that a smell of strudel?”_ she made her way to the kitchen, stopping at the sight of Credence and (Y/N). _“Queenie, can you please tell me what a dead boy is doing in our kitchen?”__

__“Oh, well, Credence is alive and-”_ Newt interrupted._

__“I very well can see that. (Y/N)?”_ _

__“What? I won’t give him to MACUSA, don’t even think about that,”_ (Y/N) stated, feeling Credence moving closer. _“I thought you’ll be happy.”__

__“I am, it’s just- unexpected,”_ she explained and then breathed deeply. _“Well, the more the merrier, right?”_ (Y/N) chuckled in response. _“How is you hand, (Y/N)?”__

__“Um-”_ _

__“What’s wrong with your hand?”_ Credence quietly asked, with genuine worry in his eyes._

__“She punched Graves-Grindelwald in the face,”_ Newt chuckled, coming closer and making (Y/N) blush._

__“You did what?”_ Credence carefully raised her hand to examine the damage. It was nothing serious, just few scratches and a red skin on her knuckles._

__“He deserved that.”_ _

__“She not only punched him, I think she broke his nose,”_ Tina added, making (Y/N) growl._

__“Oh hush now!”_ she grunted, hiding her smile. Suddenly she heard Credence’s stomach rumbling and frowned. _“Go away, my ward is hungry!”_ she exclaimed, leading blushing Credence back to the table._

_Even though Obscurial was dangerous, he was a very lucky person to have a Patron. _He was very lucky to have (Y/N),_ he thought, smiling slightly, when she sat him down and placed the biggest piece of cake in front of him. **He was very, very happy.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Sometimes it seemed nearly impossible for six people to fit into a small apartment, but for these couple of days they seemed to cope with it. Newt still had some business in New York, so Credence, Modesty and (Y/N) had to wait for him, before going to London anyway.

The atmosphere at Goldsteins was vastly different from what Credence was used to. It was warm, welcoming and cheerful, full of smiles and laughs. But at the same time, and Credence felt guilty for feeling like this, it was overwhelming. He never thought that not being alone would be that hard. His own common sense was fighting with his instincts and feelings, turning his head into a battlefield. Even though Credence knew, that neither Queenie, Tina nor Newt were going to hurt him, he tried to remain as quiet and as inconspicuous as he possibly could. (Y/N) saw that. She saw his every glance and flinch, when someone was using a wand in dangerous proximity to him. She quietly asked all of them to be more careful, though carry on with their lives, so Credence didn’t feel like a burden. (Y/N) made sure, he wouldn’t know. She wanted him to have a normal life, filled with caring, kindness and support, but the last thing he needed now was pity. Credence was constantly hiding, trying to become smaller, and sometimes, to (Y/N)’s terror, reminded her of a cats who are hiding when they are going to die. 

She tried to keep an eye on him, still giving him some personal space. 

Living in a small apartment wasn’t that easy, but figuring out where everybody would sleep was even tougher. Newt quickly gestured to his case, cutting off any other suggestions. Queenie and (Y/N) and a silent quarrel about that, however. As soon as (Y/N) saw a literal cry for help and fear in Credence’s eyes, she suggested him taking a couch and she was supposed to sleep in the armchair in the same room, just in case. Credence, though gratefully grabbing her hand, tried to argue in hope to make her take the couch. He didn’t succeed, so didn’t Queenie, who were trying to make (Y/N) take her bed. The two of them were just staring at each other for a good fifteen minutes, until Tina reminded them about Modesty, who still had no place to sleep, according to Queenie’s plan. However, Newt somehow quickly figured that out, even before (Y/N) and younger Goldstein finished their silent battle. It seemed like he managed to show her his case, and she was just begging (Y/N) to let her stay in there.

It made sense, so everyone just gave up. However, (Y/N) would occasionally wake up with Modesty nuzzled into her side.

Every single day was a challenge for all of them. Credence, somehow felt relieved knowing that the tickets for a ship were already booked, so soon they would leave this city forever. He wouldn’t miss it. No, he definitely wanted to see Queenie and Tina again, but not New York. Not everyone else. For now, the only person he felt himself comfortable with was, obviously, (Y/N). Holding her hand almost constantly became a habit. Sometimes he even let himself sit next to her, so close that their shoulders were brushing. She didn’t seemed to mind it at all, so after some time he’d let himself hug her, even if it was after the permission.

Credence was still scared of every bit of magic, the nightmares would occasionally come, tearing his mind apart again and again. And though, he seemed to sleep relatively well, at least, he thought so, (Y/N) would often wake up because of his ragged breathing. Nightmares weren’t strong enough to wake him up screaming, but enough to make her worried. She would just sit next to him, whispering sweet nothings until he’d calm down. However, she wasn’t the only one to care. Almost every single morning she would wake up, having an extra blanket neatly wrapped around her. (Y/N) definitely remembered covering with this very blanket one very particular boy the night before. This silent blanket exchange seemed to last forever.

However, some nights were different. Darkness would come like a flood, chocking him slowly, tasting like poison on his lips. Even when New York faded away by the horizon, Credence couldn’t flick off dreadful memories. He seemed genuinely amazed by the ocean, though. (Y/N) watched him staring at the waves, his hair in a little mess because of the wind, while he seemed almost… Normal. As normal as Credence could be, at least – a living tapestry of pain and misery woven with the red threads of scars and fears. He seemed alive and somehow hopeful, and (Y/N) was scared that someday she would see life fading away from his eyes, though he wouldn’t be dead.

And her fears were coming true some nights. She could feel him shaking half asleep on the brink of reality. One of those happened when they were on the ship, already sailing to London, leaving everything behind. (Y/N) woke up, running out of air. Modesty was sleeping nonchalantly, as all of the children should. It took her some time to understand what was exactly going on. She didn’t care for shoes, just rushing to the room next door, freezing in the doorway.

 _“Credence?”_ his sobs were merely audible, but still noticeable enough to brake her heart. _“Credence?”_ she asked again making a step forward. He didn’t answer, possibly staring at the wall. (Y/N) wasn’t sure if he even heard her, because when she carefully touched his shoulder, boy flinched away, frantically looking at her.  
_“Credence, it’s me. I’m not going to hurt you,”_ she whispered, worriedly looking at him.

 _“I’ve already heard that,”_ he hoarsely answered, before even realizing what exactly he said. (Y/N) looked at him in disbelief, gasping softly. She never realized- Meanwhile, Credence’s eyes widen in fear and he hurriedly added, stuttering, _“I-I’m sorry, (Y/N), I- I didn’t mean that.”_

 _“It’s okay,”_ she weakly said, suddenly sitting down on the floor, leaning on the side of his bed. It was cold, but she didn’t really care, not now. Credence was still scared, and tried not to touch her, so she gave him that space for now. It was strange how sometimes he needed her constant presence and sometimes all he wanted was solitude. She understood though. _“Do you want to tell me what happened?”_

 _“It- It was just a nightmare,”_ he whispered, staring at her nape for a minute. She waited for him to continue, though Credence didn’t really knew what to say. _“I cannot sleep. I just- I just can’t her those screams again,”_ she sighed, rising her eyes to the ceiling, still keeping silence. _“(Y/N)- Do you- Do you have nightmares?”_

 _“Everybody does,”_ she stated, closing her eyes for a second. _“I don’t really remember when was the last time I remembered good dreams. It’s either nightmares or nothing.”_

(Y/N) didn’t want to lie, telling that darkness would go away. The truth was – it wouldn’t. I would always me there, until the very end of their lives, silently watching them through the veil of night. The only way was to accept the dark, learn how to live with it, not letting it touch their hearts. 

_“How do you- how do you fight them?”_

_“I don’t,”_ (Y/N) answered, turning her head and seeing Credence crawling to the floor too, sitting right next to her. 

_“But-”_

_“There’s no cure for the darkness, Credence. I wish I could say there is,”_ (Y/N) sighed, staring at the ceiling. _“You just learn how to live with it.”_ He was breathing loudly sitting next to her. She felt him stiffen, so she continued. _“It doesn’t mean there’s no hope. Actually, hope is the only thing we ever have. Darkness- It is powerful and patient, and sometimes it seems as if I can’t be beaten.”_

 _“And what if it can’t?”_ Credence suddenly asked, hollowly. _“What if there too much of it in me? What if I’m a monster? I’ve read those books and-”_

 _“Credence,”_ (Y/N) softly interrupted, turning her gaze to him. _“It may seem, that dark always wins. However,”_ he stared in his brown eyes now, never seeing more light in any blue ones. _“However, you only need a candle to make it go away. You are so much more than that. You are not a monster.”_

 _“Everybody keeps saying that. But how do you know?”_ he honestly asked, finally confessing his fears.

 _“I see good in you. I see it when you look at Modesty, and that’s enough for me. Monsters don’t care,”_ she calmly stated, wincing slightly from the cold. Credence noticed that little movement and instantly reached for a blanket.

 _“I just- I just don’t know who I am,”_ she whispered, covering (Y/N) with plaid.

 _“I do,”_ she said, smiling softly to his curious glance. _“You are Credence Barebone, boy, who cares for others more, than he does for himself. Boy, who reached for a blanket, when he noticed I was cold. You are my ward.”_ He was silent for a minute, adjusting the blanket.

 _“I think I like how that sounds,”_ he said shyly, making her smile a little wider. _“But those books-”_

 _“Well, those books are not always true, are they? You are a miracle. No one ever survived Obscurus for this long before,”_ she said, moving a little closer and offering him half of a blanket. _“But here we are, a Patron and the oldest Obscurial ever known, sitting on the floor in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean,”_ (Y/N) chuckled, softly bumping his shoulder with her own.

_“But- It said that Obscurus is a dark force and-”_

_“Magic isn’t good or bad, Credence. For some it is a gift, and for some – shackles. Magic does not has its own will. Think of it. Is a knife evil? But the wielder can be. It’s up to us to decide how we’re going to use magic.”_

_“And what if I can’t?”_ he whispered, wrapping himself in a blanket. _“What if I’m not strong enough?”_

 _“You already survived through so much,”_ (Y/N) certainly said, softly touching his jaw. _“You are stronger than you can imagine. I won’t lie to you, Credence,”_ she stared at him intently, _“it’s not going to be easy. It will be painful and hard. We are on the edge of war, all wizards are. But I know for sure, that you are capable of great things, and you can overcome anything. You’re a survivor, Credence. It’s written all over your body.”_

(Y/N) couldn’t really comprehend what she saw in his eyes, when she carefully stroked a little scar on his jaw. She wasn’t sure if it was a result of punishment, it was too unnoticeable to be. Credence leaned into her touch, as always, and raised his hand to cup hers. I was something they did a lot, all those small touches that quickly became a habit. Sometimes Credence was ashamed of being so weak to have to hold someone’s hand, but it felt too good to refuse doing that. He lowered his eyes and swallowed, again feeling embarrassed.

 _“What’s wrong, dear?”_ she asked, stroking his cheek.

 _“I’m scared,”_ he breathed out, biting his lip.

 _“I’m scared too,”_ (Y/N) whispered, with her voice as weak as his was. Credence glanced at her incredulously, and she continued talking. _“I’m afraid of every day to come. Grindelwald, war- it’s scaring the living hell out of me. You are- you are the only thing that keeps me sane, Credence. You give me enough bravery to keep on fighting.”_

 _“Me?”_ he breathed out in disbelief when (Y/N) leaned forward, wrapping her hands around his neck.

 _“Of course. It’s always you,”_ she whispered, hugging him even harder when she felt his hands on her waist. 

They were sitting like that, for God knows how long, holding each other, drawing circles on other’s backs and whispering something from time to time. Suddenly, Credence yawned, hiding his face in her shoulder, and (Y/N) moved back, her fingers still stroking the back of his head. 

_“You need to rest,_ she smiled, looking sleepy as well.

 _“I don’t want to,”_ he shook his head, being absolutely adorable.

 _“Don’t be such a child, it’s the middle of the night,”_ (Y/N) chuckled, and softly gasped when he hugged her again, more for the sake of hiding his face.

 _“I don’t want you to leave,”_ he finally confessed, and felt her hands on his shoulders, stroking gently. Her chest vibrated slightly when she laughed. Credence moved back, seeing a subtle blush on her cheeks.

 _“I can stay, if you want me to,”_ (Y/N) said after some time, still blushing. She was happy to her him need her, but at the same time it was something unusual. (Y/N) got used to holding hands, and awkward hugs, but him, asking to stay, was surprising. Credence didn’t answer though, just nodding, a little smile curving his lips, before yawning again.

 _“Okay then, get up,”_ she said in factitiously stern voice, before they both stood up and Credence got into the bed, freeing some space for her. (Y/N) laid beside him, and carefully kissed his cheek. _“Goodnight.”_

_“Goodnight, (Y/N).”_


End file.
